Back to: KCB Recovery MasterClass
Transcript:
In this lesson I want to talk about combating negative thoughts with reality checks. The tool that we’re going to use is Reality Testing. Reality testing allows you to see the situation for what it actually is rather than your fears or hopes of what you think the situation might be.
Often times we have negative thoughts and we give into those negative thoughts without considering the evidence against those thoughts and how would someone else see it, would they see it the same way how you see it? Are you being too judgemental on yourself? Are you creating unnecessary panic and anxiety with your negative thoughts?
Let use an example, let’s say that you said hello to Mary and Mary did not respond, that must mean that she is mad at you for something you did or she doesn’t like you anymore. And you may believe that. Your job is to go to the drawing board, assess the situation and come up with evidence against that thought. “Well, maybe Mary didn’t see me or hear when I said Hello’ or maybe ‘Mary is grumpy today and in a bad mood or doesn’t feel like talking today’ or ‘Maybe Mary was deep in her thoughts and had a lot on her mind’. Those could be practical reasons as to why Mary did not respond when you said hello.
What would an outsider say if you told them what happen? If you said to a friend, ‘I said hello to Mary yesterday and she did not respond’ then the person might ask, ‘well did she see you or hear you?’. And that’s a valid question.
Another important way to look at it is to ask yourself, ‘in 6 months or a year from now will I care about this?’, ‘Is it really worth it for me to be anxious or worried about this situation right now?’ Probably not.
In the Reality Test worksheet that is in this section of the program, you will be looking at different situations that has made you angry, worried, depressed, stressed, anxious and be able to break down these situations in a way you have never done before and allow you to distinguish what is real and what isn’t.
This worksheet will help you to judge situations more appropriately and allow you to notice your own feelings and what they mean.
Additionally, it will help you to improve how you react to situations.
You will be collecting evidence for your thoughts and evidence against your thought, and writing down how someone else on the outside would see it and how you would flip a negative thought into a positive thought. Once You write this out and see it on paper, it’ll become clearer and will be harder to discredit.
You can use this worksheet as often as you’d like with different situations.