Back to: KCB Recovery MasterClass
Transcript:
You might be thinking that you are on this journey alone, and you think the problem is not big enough where you want to bring people in, or maybe you are embarrassed to let others know about the problem. I am here to tell you that you need support. The problem may be that you don’t have the support or you can’t get it, not that you don’t want the support. It may be that the people around you who are supposed to be the most supportive are the ones that hurt you or cause you damage or tell you that you can’t or you’re wrong. And that makes you want to isolate yourself and do it alone and it makes it harder and harder on you.
The issue isn’t that the support will not be helpful, the issue is that you have the wrong support or you haven’t yet met the people who will be there for you.
Do you already have support but it’s just not enough? Or Do you not have the support that you need? Whatever the answer is, this means that you have to find your support system, start detoxing from relationships that are not healthy for you and start finding and building relationships that are healthy and supportive.
You have to actively look for and identify your support, it’s not going to show up automatically. It’s your job to find it, else you’re going to have the same results that you’ve been having. It’s your job to help make your support system better.
Where can you find these different support groups? You can find them in church, in social clubs, sports club, clubs for introverts, online support groups, book club, the gym or interest groups.
Some club where people have common interests as you and you have interests in the same topics.
Build the network you want, with people who respect your vision and people who appreciate you. Surrounding yourself with those people will help you feel better about yourself and find your purpose. Get involved in something that is meaningful, reach out to your support system when you need help and they will help you achieve your goals and visions.
Shame might creep back up, you might think ‘they don’t have my best interest at heart, they want to hurt me’ but if you get the people that really believe in you and you trust them, they will be your support system. Shame will come up for you in your thoughts every now and again, that’s normal, maybe you haven’t had the conversation with them on how it shames you. Open up, have that conversation, that will reduce the shame.
Think through the irrational thoughts. Use the tools that we had provided to transform those negative thoughts into positive thoughts and keep using them!
When you have people that have your back, are honest with you and support you, you have what you need for long term success along with the tools you’ve learned along the way.
Build the support and accountability around you and then allow it to surround you. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. The most successful people in the world all get help! Help they married to, help they paid for or help they are friends with. No one is an island. Everyone needs help. You don’t have to do this alone.