Back to: KCB Recovery MasterClass
Transcript:
In the previous sessions, we talked about negative beliefs that inhibit your ability to move forward. And a lot of those self-defeating thoughts come from different places. Places like society, our environment, even our family background.
There is this distinction placed between alcoholics and non-alcoholics, in AA they even refer to nonalcoholics as ‘normies’. Meaning that you are normal if you are a non-alcoholic, so what does that make an alcoholic? Someone that’s not normal right? There is this belief that alcoholics are just not the same as non-alcoholics, alcoholics are placed in a different category, creating this feeling of separation and shame.
There is often this attention given to you, this attention that you didn’t ask for and it can make you feel isolated and separated. There is this false belief that drinking is a chronic disease, and you can’t stop it. This belief is that you’ll always be an alcoholic.
The problem is, this belief has placed you in a box, and the reality is people have problems of varying levels.
There are people who drink and have absolutely no problem with it. They drink when they want to and can stop drinking whenever they want to, it doesn’t seem like it interrupts their life in any shape or form. Then there are others who drink too much every once in a while. It’s not done habitually but every once in a while they take it way too far and have some regrets about how far things got. Does that sound familiar?
Then there are people who don’t drink all the time, but they have repetitive issues with alcohol, maybe once a month or a couple of times a year and they take it too far and their drinking affects other people. Then there are people who drink daily and in heavy amounts, they drink all the time. There are even more varying levels of severity.
You don’t have to fall at the extreme end of the spectrum.
The fact that you are here tells me that you recognize that you have an issue, and I sense that you are not in denial about that.
When someone says to you, ‘you have this specific problem’ you’re thinking in your head of the actual problems you have, and you say ‘ that’s not my problem, this is my problem’ and then the person starts to say you are in denial, just because you didn’t agree with them. They ignore what you say is the problem and instead say that you’re an alcoholic, and if you don’t agree with them then they say that you’re in denial and you’re not acknowledging your problem. And they believe that they have the right answers like ‘you need to stop drinking’ or ‘you need to slow down your drinking.’ By this time, you believe that you’re an alcoholic because of how many times this has been drilled into your head. But what if they are wrong?
There are always changes, there is research that shows people’s standings with how much, how often or how consistent they drink, is not permanent. Start changing that belief that ‘I’m always a drinker’, ‘I’m always an alcoholic’.
In the worksheet area of this section, we’ll be giving you some tools to help identify your level of severity and the things that can focus on to address the underlying cause of your drinking.